5 Questions to ask your child instead of "What did you do today?"
It’s a common complaint from parents of kids we work with: “Whenever I ask my child what he did at school today, he always says ‘I don’t know’ ”.
Open-ended questions like these are often difficult for children to answer. To try to recall the events of a whole day and pick out what is important to re-tell is difficult for most young children but can be especially challenging for our kids who are struggling with expressive language (ie. putting their thoughts into words) or receptive language skills (ie. understanding what the question is asking). So, what can we do to support our children to share the events of their day? Here are 5 suggestions of questions to ask instead of “what did you do today?”:
1) “Who did you play with at recess?” If your child struggles to answer “who” questions, try offering some suggestions (ie. other kids’ names). Even if you can’t guess accurately, it may prompt them to understand that you are looking for a child’s name.
2) “Did anything happen today that made you feel happy?” For some children, this may be a tricky one. If they struggle to answer on their own, try modelling an answer for them (e.g. I felt really happy today when I found out that my boss ordered pizza for everyone at work). Even if this doesn’t elicit a response to the original question from your child, it gives them information about how to answer it and support them to do so when you ask in future.
3) “What did you make it art class today?” For younger children or children who have difficulty with this type of question, it can be helpful to ask your child’s teacher ahead of time so that you can offer a couple of choices for your child to choose from (e.g. did you paint a horse or a bird?)
4) “What did you learn about in ____________?” For this question, you’ll need to know about the units and themes they are studying at school. The more you know about what they are learning, the more specific you’ll be able to be with your questions and the more likely it’ll be that your child will be to be able to answer appropriately.
5) “Tell me about the work you brought home.” While this isn’t technically a question, asking your child to tell you about the work they’ve brought home with them can help your child to bring up details they might otherwise have forgotten. Showing interest in their work can also increase their self-esteem as well as link school and home.
If your child finds answering questions more difficult than other children their age, this may be a sign of a language delay. Contact us for information about assessment of language skills.
